either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
