i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
