Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
