He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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