Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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