just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
