nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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