Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize