i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
They have beer where we have blood.
Randomize
