pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I think my fart just growled at me.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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