so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
