if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
