My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
