I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
