kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
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We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
It can also be a hat.
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There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.