I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize