who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
