What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
