no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
ya dads aren't the best wingmen
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
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