So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
