Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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