Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
21 Awkward Ways People Found Out Their Partner Was Into Outrageous Sex Acts
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration