just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again