I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
