Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
He better not be in your backpack
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
