I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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