I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize