He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Randomize
