i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
