Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
