just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
