If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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