Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
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