Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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