well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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