its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
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