so I'm never txting u again after today...
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?