dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
I have a yeast infection.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Guys Hate When Girls Do These 29 Cringeworthy Things
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
25 Men Confess The Moment They Knew They Wanted To Marry Their Wife
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.