Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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