This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's just like the Real World with babies
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
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