after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
