I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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