i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
