between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Is her dick bigger than yours?
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize