she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Randomize
