She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
