I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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