I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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