i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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