a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
