You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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