i don't like sucking hair
last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
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That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
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We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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