Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
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