playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Found the puke drawer
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
