It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
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