More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize
