real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
