Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
