oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Randomize
